One Way Ticket
by Frodo's Mistress
Summary: A new ring, a new romance, and hopefully a glimmer of hope for everyone's favorite hobbit!
1. Begin at the Beginning

A/N: I would first like to thank all my friends and editors, Anna, Suzanne, Justine, and everyone else for bringing the new ring to Warrington. Warning: rated PG-13 for sexual innuendos and suggestive material. In other words, it's like your life, personified.  
  
Chapter 1: Begin at the Beginning.  
"What?"  
"That was the last we heard from her, before she disappeared," Ryan said, "But I swear, we didn't do anything. She just vanished!"  
"Well," Officer Kelly Roberts sighed, "Thank you, Mr. McGovern, you've been, uh, helpful."  
"No problem," he said, thinking "But how did I help?"  
  
*One week earlier*  
  
"Hey guys, look what I found!" Lilly exclaimed, bending down to pick up something from the hot sidewalk. It was a sticky July in Bucks County, and Lilly Anderson, Ryan McGovern, Kat Brown, and Mike Horner were really bored. Like, walking around the block (for the umpteenth time) was considered amusing. She picked up the little silver ring, and inspected the design.  
"What's that, chica?" Kat asked.  
"What's written on it?" Ryan wanted to know.  
Lilly didn't have the answers. She didn't know a thing about the ring in all honesty. All she knew was that she wanted it. No, she needed it.  
"You can't have it! It's MINE!" she screamed. She put the ring on, and she vanished. 


	2. A Gift

This chapter title could be misconstrued. It makes her sound like a gift to the hobbits, but, oh, never mind...just me rambling...  
  
Chapter 2: A Gift  
Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee were eating lunch with their two close friends Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took. They were out on the lawn, as hobbits are rather outdoorsy folk, and all of a sudden, there was a girl in Frodo's lap. She looked like a hobbit, except she was wearing unusual clothing, and of all things, pants! Short pants! The four hobbits did not know what to make of Lilly; however, they dragged her into Bag-End for two reasons. Reason number one: they were used to unnatural occurrences, as these four particular hobbits had been taken on an adventure all around Middle Earth, and reason number two: she was rather pretty, and if they were going to keep her around, she was going to be needing some decent clothes.  
"Who are you?" Pippin asked, seeing as she looked about his age, "And how did you wind up on Frodo's lap?"  
"Oh my god," Lilly audibly gasped, "Frodo? Frodo Baggins? And that makes you Sam, Merry, and Pippin! Oh my god, I think I just found myself in the middle of a Fantasy book. This is way twisted."  
"How do you know us, yet we don't know you?" Frodo asked.  
"Uh, hello, you're on the cover of every Lord of the Rings book/movie/toy EVER. God, you're, like, the main character! Don't you even know who you are? And your story? Didn't you write it?"  
"Maybe I phrased the question wrong: how do you know my story?"  
"I told you, it's, like, a book. You're FAMOUS. In my world, you are the action hero every little kid wants to grow up to be, Mr. I-Saved- Middle–Earth–and–am–now–acting–all-modest Baggins."  
Sam spoke this time, "Well, that explains a lot. However, you failed to mention why you're out in your undergarments, ma'am."  
"Oh, god, I must be totally offending you guys! I'm sorry, but where I come from, it's summer, and outside, it's boiling. We wear shorts and camis all the time, it's totally normal. That is, in Warwick, it's totally normal. What do girls in Hobbiton wear, exactly?"  
"Dresses. Occasionally breeches, but only for work, not usually. We can go ask Rosie if you could borrow a dress if you'd like?" Pippin chimed in.  
"Don't go around offering other people's clothes like that, Pip!" Merry responded.  
"No, no, I'm sure she'll be glad to have another woman around. So, how old are you? 33 yet?" Sam asked, conversationally.  
"Uh, in hobbit years? I guess I'm celebrating my 33rd birthday today, but in human years, that's only 18." Lilly responded.  
"Well," Frodo simply could not come to terms with this beautiful girl that had just fallen into his lap, "You know our names, and yet we don't know yours. What is it?"  
"Um, Lilly. I'm hoping you don't mind the whole attractive spill I took when I first got here, it's just that; well...we'll have to have a long night of stories. I want to hear a first-hand account of the trip the Fellowship took, and I'm sure you want to know all about me."  
"Yes we do," the hobbits all chorused together. 


	3. Back at the Ranch

This chapter, yeah, it's kinda boring, but you have to know what's going on back in the real world sometime. I figured that time should be now.  
  
Chapter 3: Back on the Ranch  
"Any news of her?" Mrs. Anderson asked. It had been 8 weeks now, and she wanted answers. As far as she and her husband had been informed, her daughter was missing for reasons unknown, and therefore, someone had to be lying. Most likely the kids, Ryan, Kat and Mike, but why would they assist a crime like that? They seemed like good kids, but this story was ridiculous. She put on a little silver ring and vanished without a trace? The only time she had ever heard of anything like that, she had been reading Lord of the Rings, and she was positive her daughter hadn't pulled a Bilbo Baggins. At least, she hoped.  
"No, ma'am...but we're still waiting for the reply from France. 6 countries are on the lookout. We believe she was abducted, and has not been seen in the 50 states. I apologize, but it's the best we can do for now." Officer Roberts answered.  
Mr. Anderson was still convinced that he was living in an alternate universe, not knowing he was all too correct. He thought, "This is impossible. My daughter is NOT trapped in some fantastical book-world. It just doesn't happen to normal people."  
Little did he know he was the closest out of the three of them to actually being right.  
"We're on constant watch, ma'am, sir. I really, truly grieve for you. Not, grieve, as in, she's, well, I'm sorry. I really am." Officer Roberts said, and then saw herself out. 


	4. An, uh, Long Expected Party?

Way to connect to the real story. A long story short, well, the girls of the shire aren't too keen on another woman taking their men...  
  
Chapter 4: An, uh, Long-Expected Party?  
The four hobbits brought Lilly to Sam and Rosie's house, and when Rosie first saw the girl (not to mention the effect Lilly had on her boys), she was not the least bit pleased. As far as Rosie was concerned, those boys had spent the last two months since her baby's return from Mordor eating, singing, and especially drinking in her pub, I mean, home, and as opposed to Sam's belief, she did not like the prospect of another woman in the picture. And she also did not like the look of this new girl. Not only did she not like the girl just for the fact that she was stealing her boys, what nerve did she have to be out and about in next to nothing!  
"Sweetheart, look what we found! And on her birthday, poor thing," Sam said, and leaned over to kiss his wife.  
"Who's this and what in the name of all things sacred and holy is she wearing?" Rosie demanded.  
"See? Told you it's unacceptable. They were trying to convince me I looked fine. I told them, well, maybe in 2006 it's acceptable, but it's what, 1436? I don't exactly remember the year from the books..." Lilly explained.  
"It's 1423, and come to our room with me; you can borrow a dress of mine, for now. You boys set up dinner, or supper, or whatever meal's next. Now as for you, dear, you look positively starved. Wherever you're from, I do hope they feed you!" Rosie chortled as they walked down the hallway.  
"She does look a bit thin, don't you think?" Sam asked, back in the kitchen.  
"I dunno, she looked good to me!" Frodo said, and they all laughed.  
Merry broke off, "Frodo, my dear old boy, I think we've finally found you a girl, mate!"  
"But..."Pippin protested.  
"Oh, I see...you wanted her, huh Pip?" Sam asked  
"Oh, no, Frodo can have her. She's too old for me. I'm still a youngin, right?" Pip concluded.  
"When is your 33rd birthday, huh?" Frodo wanted to change the subject. Maybe Lilly was his last-ditch attempt at a girl, but he didn't want to share her, the way his friends and he shared Rosie. She was like a mother hen, and then Sam got to take her home at the end of the day. He liked to keep girls to himself...maybe she could cook for them, but she couldn't bend to their every will. They already had Rosie for that.  
Pippin never got the chance to tell them when his birthday was, because Lilly and Rosie were back. Lilly looked stunning, her long golden curls were pulled half-up and tied with a green ribbon to match the dress. Her powder blue eyes met the electric blue of Frodo's, and she felt her ivory complexion grow hot. As a cover up, she spun, as if to show off the dress. Her 3' 4" stature was frowned upon in the modern world, and especially with curves like hers, however she didn't look like your average midget. She looked like a real-life hobbit, and felt right at home here in Hobbiton.  
"Well, I'm glad I kept a few of my teenage dresses, she's so tiny!" Rosie exclaimed, "Except I had to make a few adjustments on the top, she's got more chest than I ever had!"  
This comment proceeded to turn Lilly's originally pink face an attractive shade of scarlet.  
"I hope it doesn't look too bad, does it?" Lilly asked.  
Frodo heard his voice before he was able to stop it, "I don't think that's possible."  
While silently cursing himself, Lilly giggled, and asked, "Do you want to go for a walk before dinner? You could show me around, and now that I don't look too offensive, I hoped I could see the sights."  
Knowing full well that in her heart, she meant see more of Frodo alone, she let him take her hand and lead her out into the sunshine. 


	5. Kissing Fate

Chapter 5: Kissing Fate  
As they walked hand-in-hand down the dirt path, Lilly noticed it was getting late. As they wandered past the cornfields, and as the sun set, she also noticed something unusual that she had not spotted before: her feet. They were just like in the book! Hobbit feet! She shared this with Frodo.  
"Oh, we all have feet like that," he clearly stated, hoping she wasn't upset.  
"Don't worry, I think it's cool, I just hadn't noticed it up until now. And by the way, where I come from, it's good luck to kiss the person you're with at sunset on your birthday." Lilly slyly commented.  
If Frodo was taken aback by this statement, he did not show it...he took this picturesque moment to lean over and gently caress her lips. Her response was warm, and a half hour later, they decided it was time to go back...the others might be worried.  
Lilly was thinking to herself, "God, if he kisses that way all the time, why the hell doesn't he have a girl already? Oh man, do I have some stories to go home with now! Wow, I wonder if we could do that more often. And where on earth am I gonna stay tonight? And one last thing...I want to take this man HOME!!!"  
In Frodo's mind, he was having a similar conversation with himself...and wondering why Lilly didn't have a man already. Then, ingenious plan, she could stay with him! Oh, was Merry ever right, this was the girl for him...now how would he explain having an un-married woman live with him to the neighbors? Well, he decided, he didn't care, and whatever happened would happen. He liked that thought, and it kept him smiling the rest of the night.  
"Do you want to stay with me, I mean, while you're here?" Frodo asked.  
"Like I could say no!" Lilly responded, and kissed him lightly on the cheek. 


End file.
